2002 Third Quarter Newsletter

2002, Third Quarter

Focus on L i s t e n i n g

Thought for the Quarter
"When I think I've listened enough, I probably need
to listen some more."
—–Dr. Joyce Brothers

Five types of listening

Per Dennis M. Kratz and Abby Robinson Kratz in their book, "Effective Listening Skills," there are five (5) types of listening:

1. Listening to Bond: The information received is less important than the fact we are strengthening or establishing a relationship.

2. Listening to Appreciate: We do this simply for the enjoyment. By listening to music, theater, etc., we allow ourselves to appreciate instead of evaluate or analyze what we hear.

3. Listening to Learn: Our primary goal is to understand what the person has to say, rather than to criticize or judge. We assume the main purpose of the speaker is to transmit an idea or information to us.

4. Listening to Decide: This requires a critical ear so that we can analyze whether the information is valid. Actually, most of the communication we receive is at least partly persuasive.

5. Listening to Enable: The primary goal of the speaker is to vent a particular emotion or feeling. Although we are listening to understand, the primary purpose is to enable the other person to express strong feelings on the problem and perhaps find a solution.

Each type of listening requires a slightly different attitude and set of skills.

Purpose of Message

Listening Goal

Social

Appreciation

Information

Persuasive

Cathartic

Bonding

Enjoying

Learning

Deciding

Enabling

By understanding the purpose of each type of listening, we become more effective listeners.

SIMPLE SKILLS THAT ENCOURAGE LISTENING

There are three "clusters" of simple listening skills that encourage listening. The listener may need to focus on a single skill, when necessary, and on small "clusters" of skills when possible. This enables people to learn more efficiently. The skills used to encourage listening are:

Attending Skills: These are the skills that give one's physical attention to another person. It is listening with the whole body. Attending is nonverbal communication that indicates the listener is paying careful attention to the person who is talking. Attending skills include a posture of involvement, appropriate body motion, eye contact, and a non-distracting environment.

Following Skills: These skills position the listener to stay out of the speaker's way so that the listener can discover how the speaker views his situation. Following skills foster effective listening with door openers (those nonverbal clues the listener sends that he is engaged - or not - in the conversation), minimal encouragers (those brief indicators to the speaker that the listener is following along), open questions, and attentive silence.

Reflecting Skills: These skills are best defined through: paraphrasing (repeating what the speaker has said in the listener's words), reflecting feelings (mirroring back to the speaker the emotions he is feeling), reflecting meanings (tying feelings to content), and summative reflections (a brief statement of the theme and feelings the speaker expressed over a longer period of conversation).

We all need to remember that listening is more than merely hearing. Listening is a combination of hearing what another person says and involvement with the person who is talking. Its importance can be determined by the fact that we spend more time listening than anything else we do during our waking hours. Listening impacts our effectiveness at work and our relationships. So we need to utilize every possible skill to be effective listeners.

From People Skills by Robert Bolton, PhD

EFFECTIVE LISTENING METHODS

Here are several methods that can be used to increase one's effective listening skills.

Restate what was just heard.

By stating back to the informer what was just said, the listener increases his/her ability to understand and retain the information shared. By restating it back using the listener’s own words, it further increases the ability to retain the information.

Use non-verbal signals to the informer to enhance the exchange.

Examples of these non-verbal signals are:
Nodding one’s head, direct eye contact, avoiding other tasks while the informer is talking.

Use listening words to reinforce the listening process.

Examples of these listening words are: “really,” "tell me more,” “uh huh,” “oh, my,” “interesting,” "I see."

Notable quotes on Listening

SIMPLE TIPS
(A new quarterly feature)

"One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we consider our problems, can change our whole outlook on the world." —–Dr. Elton Mayo

"The mind of a person with understanding, gets knowledge, the wise person listens to learn more." —–Proverbs 18: 15

"The Golden Rule of Listening: Listen to others as you would like others to listen to you." —–Dennis & Abby Kratz

"Big people monopolize the listening. Small people monopolize the talking."
—–David Schwartz

How much of your company's time and resources are being spent on "back-room" support?

(Back-room refers to those tasks that are not revenue generating. Examples: Administrative tasks, Accounting/Finance, Systems development/management.)

If you are "buried" with your resources and time being utilized on back-room support, then you probably need to evaluate your effectiveness and efficiencies.

Aldridge, Kerr can help you improve how you do what you do! We can help you get out from under that stack of work so you have more time to support your clients. Call us at 972.447.9787 – or - E-mail us at Questions@aldridgekerr.com

For assistance with your project, process, and documentation needs, contact:

Charlene G. Aldridge
972.447.9787 (office)
972.897.0580 (cell)
CharleneAldridge@aldridgekerr.com

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